SOUL

HEARTBREAK

Sometimes it takes only a few words to shake us. Not because the words are powerful, but because they land exactly where we are vulnerable. A single sentence can trigger adrenaline, anxiety, or a physical reaction we didn’t expect. When that happens, it’s easy to assume we’re weak or overreacting — but emotional triggers often reveal something deeper.

The cycle of hurt

When someone hurts us, the instinct to react is strong. Not always out of anger — sometimes out of self‑protection, pride, or the desire to restore balance. But emotional exchanges often follow a simple pattern:

  • Someone feels hurt.

  • They react.

  • The reaction hurts the other person.

  • The cycle continues.

It’s rarely about who is “right.” It’s about two egos colliding, each trying to defend itself.

When clarity arrives

It can be unsettling to realise that the pain we feel now might be similar to the pain we once caused someone else. Not intentionally, but through our own reactions, assumptions, or emotional blind spots. That realisation can be humbling — and strangely healing.

It shows us that emotional impact doesn’t require bad intentions. It only requires two people who are both hurting.

The moment of choice

When emotions run high, the mind looks for ways to regain control. But the real test is not whether we can strike back — it’s whether we can pause long enough to choose a different path.

Letting go is not weakness. It is the moment you stop feeding a cycle that can only escalate.

What the body teaches

Strong emotional triggers can feel physical: shaking, nausea, headaches, adrenaline. These reactions are not signs of failure — they are signs that something important has been touched. The body often reacts before the mind understands why.

Recognising this helps us respond with awareness instead of impulse.

What support can and cannot do

Friends and family may not always understand the depth of what we feel. They can agree with us logically and still not grasp the emotional weight. That doesn’t invalidate the experience — it simply means the lesson is ours to process.

The deeper truth

At the heart of most conflicts is ego — the part of us that wants to be right, respected, acknowledged, or understood. When ego rises, relationships fall. When ego softens, clarity returns.

Letting go is not surrendering to someone else. It is choosing peace over pride. It is choosing growth over reaction. It is choosing to break a pattern instead of repeating it.

A Hawaiian saying

Ho'oponopono is a Hawaiian mantra. They say these 4 meaningful words to heal those that are hurt, including ourselves: Please forgive me. I am sorry. Thank you. I love you. 

"Who should I say sorry to"? People asks. "I am always a good person, I always do the right thing".

Perhaps say sorry to yourself, for being so harsh on yourself. Because sometimes no one will put higher standards on us, than ourselves.

Or perhaps sometimes, the way we look at others, speak to them, or not speak to them, might hurt them unintentionally.

It might just be a coincidence, but since I started using them, my family has put their differences aside, and finally get together like we never did before.